How to Stop Being a Narcissist

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Narcissism is a widely known personality disorder. Most people know the telling symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):

  • Lack of empathy
  • Self-centeredness
  • Arrogance
  • A grandiose view of self
  • Manipulating others for self-gain
  • Considering self over all others

What people may not know is that you don’t have to have NPD to exhibit narcissistic behaviors. In fact, everyone will likely experience narcissistic behaviors at some point in their life.

Why do people without NPD tend to act narcissistically? And how do you stop acting like a narcissist? That’s what we’re going to discuss. 

Narcissism vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic behaviors are not limited to people with NPD. Anyone can express narcissistic behaviors.

What Causes Narcissism 

It’s not known why narcissism develops, but researchers believe it could be a mixture of genes, childhood experiences, and psychological factors.

It also should be noted that narcissism often comes from a place of low self esteem, fear of rejection, and insecurity. Childhood experiences like lack of support can be connected to narcissistic behaviors.

narcissism could develop due to genes, childhood experiences, and psychological factors.

Narcissistic Behavior

Everyone at some point will exhibit narcissistic behaviors. This is referred to as situational narcissism. Someone might get an ego boost from receiving a promotion or receiving praise. Their behavior might change and they may show narcissistic behaviors. However, after some time, the behaviors will usually go away. 

If someone shows occasional narcissism, that doesn’t mean they have NPD. Narcissistic behavior can also be linked with substance use disorders (SUDs), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health issues.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder that is characterized by persistent narcissistic behavior. Also considered pathological narcissism.

The prevalence of NPD is difficult to fully understand because diagnosing the disorder is challenging. The percentage of people with NPD could be anywhere from 1%-15% of the United States population. NPD is much more common as a comorbid disorder existing alongside other personality disorders such as: 

For many people with NPD, the need for external validation leads to insecurity and anxiety.

Covert Narcissism

In psychological terms, overt behaviors are behaviors that can be easily seen. Covert refers to behaviors that are harder to see.

Covert narcissism refers to a form of narcissism that is difficult to notice. They still view others as less important and seek admiration, they’re just able to hide the more obvious behaviors. This will typically be expressed as manipulation and exaggeration, but it’s hard to spot.

6 Ways To Stop Narcissistic Behavior

Whether your narcissistic tendencies are situational or part of a personality disorder, there are ways you can improve your outlook and begin to stop narcissistic behaviors.

how to stop narcissistic behavior includes accepting imperfections and getting professional help.

1. Accept Imperfections

Recognize and accept that you and everyone around you are not perfect. You may think if you had things your way, then everything would be perfect. But that’s simply not true.

You make mistakes, and that’s ok because everyone else does too. When you’re able to accept that you and other people are not perfect, you’ll be decreasing the stress caused by thinking you need to control every situation.

2. Consider Your Thoughts

The exercise of thinking about your thought process may come more naturally to others. However, if you’re able to think through your thoughts you’ll be able to understand your actions better.

3. Slow Down

Before reacting, think. Don’t let yourself immediately respond to situations without thinking first.

This could look like taking a deep breath or removing yourself from a situation. Doing this will give you the space to think about your motivations and why you want to react in a certain way.

4. Do Nice Things for Others

Think of ways you can do something selfless for someone else. When you experience narcissism, it’ll be hard to think about others, but over time it’ll get easier.

You could buy them a nice gift, pay for someone else’s coffee, write someone a letter, or even let someone else have their way. Doing a selfless act may be painful for you, and you might need to slow down and really consider before you act.

5. Try Your Best To Listen 

A classic trait of narcissism is excessive focus on self. This manifests in daily life by making regular conversations extremely one-sided.

During conversations try not to interrupt or change topics. Instead, listen. Think about what the person is saying, and don’t try to offer advice or speak your mind. Instead, give them the space they need to talk about what they want to.

6. Get Professional Help

Going to therapy will equip you with tools that will help you understand yourself better. This includes exploring unconscious thoughts, practicing mindfulness, and dealing with any existing trauma.

The End Goal of Ending Narcissism

There is no cure for narcissism, but therapy can help you deal with the effects and the root of your narcissism.

The end goal isn’t to cure narcissism but to manage the symptoms.

Therapy for Narcissistic Behaviors

The most difficult part of treating narcissism is acceptance. People with narcissism don’t identify their behaviors as negative. Therefore, people who are narcissistic don’t typically seek treatment for their narcissism. Instead, they’ll seek counseling for personal crises, substance use disorder, or depression.

Dual Diagnosis Treatment

The most common way someone with NPD will seek treatment is through a comorbid diagnosis. While seeking treatment for anxiety, a narcissistic person will also be treated for narcissism. 

The kinds of therapy someone with narcissism may experience include:

The best kinds of psychotherapy for narcissism are ones that focus on mindfulness. The more someone knows about their unconscious thoughts and how their brain works, the better they’ll be able to adapt their behavior.

Treatment For Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Treating narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) takes a long time. Personality disorders are historically difficult to treat. A common form of treatment for personality disorders is dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

This modality teaches clients to accept and work with their intense emotions. This is made possible due to the most important pillar of DBT: mindfulness. Taking a deliberate look at your thoughts and behaviors will help you understand them better.

Acceptance is the first step to stopping narcissism, so working with a therapist to recognize the negative behaviors of narcissism is helpful.

acceptance is the first step to stopping narcissism

Holistic Treatment for Narcissism and Dual Diagnoses 

Sequoia Behavioral Health is a holistic mental and behavioral health treatment program. Our professional and experienced team is composed of therapists, dietitians, nurse practitioners, and recreational healers.

Co-occurring disorders should be treated in tandem. When you arrive at Sequoia Behavioral Health we build a treatment program that matches your needs. We’ll have a conversation with you about your health history, your struggles, and your hopes for the future.

Reach out to ask any questions or to see if Sequoia is a good choice for you.

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