Why Do Addicts Relapse When Things Are Good?
Supporting someone going through addiction treatment requires compassionate and somewhat knowledgeable in how addiction works. You don’t have to be an expert, but the more you know, the more helpful you’ll be.
As a support person, you’ll be able to help your friend through their journey toward recovery. That includes supporting them after a relapse.
Addiction relapses can be frustrating and confusing for those supporting someone through recovery. “They were doing so well. How could they do this?” is a question often asked after a relapse.
Addicts may relapse when things are good for several reasons:
- Fear of success
- Imposter syndrome
- Self-sabotage
- Not addressing the root problem
- Returning to a dysfunctional living situation
- Triggers
That being said, relapse doesn’t mean treatment failed. In fact, it’s a regular part of the recovery process. Most people will make 2 serious attempts at recovery before experiencing complete recovery.
A Word On Compassionate Language
How you talk about addiction can perpetuate stigma or dismantle it. When we call someone an addict we define them by their mental disorder. In reality, they are so much more.
Words like “addict” or “alcoholic” demean the individual’s human dignity. Instead, it’s best to refer to someone’s disorder as secondary to their humanity. Instead of saying addict, say, someone who is experiencing addiction.
This goes for any mental health disorder. Make sure to emphasize the person before you mention the disorder. Instead of saying autistic person, say a person with autism.
By changing your language you help end harmful stigmas that discourage people from seeking the medical treatment they need.
Causes of Relapse When Things Are Good
Relapses begin long before the substance is used. Thoughts begin to creep in, emotions begin to rise, or stress starts piling on.
The direct cause of a relapse will be different for everyone. However, some similarities give voice to experiences with relapse. This is not an exhaustive list because there are so many caveats and unique experiences with relapse.
Related Article: Understanding the Cycle of Addiction
Fear of Success
Success changes things, often for the better. But change associated with success can be scary. Success is often associated with taking on more responsibility or leaving your comfort zone.
When someone experiences addiction for a long time, it’s hard to see what recovery will look like. Those experiencing addiction have built coping mechanisms that can feel comforting. Going against the flow of comfort is difficult.
Luckily, treatment teaches new and healthy coping mechanisms that alleviate discomforts. However, related issues may need to be addressed as they surface.
Imposter Syndrome
Even when treatment and recovery are going well, thoughts that the treatment isn’t working can slip in. Someone who is in their second attempt at recovery might consider their current progress as not good enough, or that they aren’t good enough to stay sober.
These kinds of thoughts are discouraging and can be detrimental to the recovery process. They can be hard to verbalize, which makes imposter syndrome difficult to address during treatment.
If your friend is experiencing imposter syndrome, it’s important to encourage them by reminding them you’re proud of them, and they deserve to heal.
Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage is stopping oneself from achieving something of value. This could be wanting a romantic relationship but pushing away romantic interests, or wanting a higher position but refusing the extra work when the time comes.
There are a lot of reasons why someone would continually self-sabotage. The most common reason people self-sabotage is complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). Those who have experienced trauma are more likely to express self-sabotage behaviors.
Not Addressing the Root Problem
Addiction rarely is its own issue. The root of the problem is a chronic disorder that is intertwined with mental health and vice versa. Some people may believe addressing the symptoms of addiction is enough. That’s not the case.
Addiction treatment addresses the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are intertwined with addiction. It’s possible for someone to attempt recovery without addressing these deep problems.
When this happens, chances of relapse increase, and chances of full recovery decrease. It’s important to address the deeper problems during treatment.
Related Article: Dual Diagnosis
Returning to a Dysfunctional Living Situation
Returning home after residential treatment can be an uncertain time for those experiencing substance use disorder. Returning to the place where that addiction occurred will be a challenging time. This is amplified when someone returns to a dysfunctional living situation.
The recovery process requires family members to get educated and help out however they can. When a person in recovery doesn’t have the support of their family it’s much harder for them to continue.
Sequoia Behavioral Health offers three different levels of care—residential treatment, partial hospitalization, and intensive outpatient programs. We understand reintegration isn’t often easy, so we do everything we can to gradually and intentionally help you re-gain independence.
Read more about the three levels of care at Sequoia.
Triggers
When things are going well, it’s easy to get sideswiped by difficult situations or thoughts. Everything will be going great then something you see, hear, or experience causes you to feel anxiety or depression just like before.
This is similar to how addiction triggers work. Someone who is doing a great job with their recovery process could find themselves in a compromised position when they:
- Run into an old friend
- Feel negative or challenging emotions
- Are reminded of the object of addiction
- Experience a high level of stress
Whatever the trigger is, they can come quickly and be hard to manage, especially when things are going good.
Things to Know About Relapse
Being a support person for your family member or friend is an important role to play as part of their recovery. It requires compassion, understanding, and some knowledge of how addiction works.
Here are things you should know about relapse to be the best support person you can be.
Related Article: How to Support Your Loved One
It’s a Learning Experience
Each relapse gives insight into any lingering issues that need to be addressed or ways their recovery plan can be improved.
Relapse prevention plans are designed to be updated and improved as time goes on. Refining the relapse prevention plan will make them more suited to the needs of the person.
Recovery Isn’t a Problem of Willpower
Willpower is not enough to overcome addiction, and recovery is more than a decision.
No one chooses to develop a substance use disorder. When it does develop, addiction negates the ability to choose. People experiencing substance use disorder cannot just employ their willpower to stop using.
Instead, addiction treatment includes:
- Therapy
- Medical support
- Group therapy
- Psychoeducation
- Support building
- Relapse prevention plan
A holistic professional treatment plan is the best way to overcome addiction. If your friend is open to treatment, point them toward a residential treatment facility. While there, they’ll receive the care they need while addressing every facet of their addition.
Supporting Your Friend
If you have a family member or friend going through treatment, you can be a part of the healing process. This can be a challenging, but incredibly rewarding role to play. The best way for you to support a loved one going through rehab is to be proactively involved in supporting sobriety.
Sequoia Behavioral Health offers mental health resources for families. This includes articles and referrals for medical detox and interventions. Contact us to get more information about how we can help you.